For The Love Of Facebook
by Evelett
Summary: The characters of the Harry Potter series find themselves drawn to the new sensation that is Facebook.
1. A Weird Kind of Introduction

It had been a week since the craze had hit the wizarding world. Since those... computers, had arrived.

To find a muggle device so utterly compelling, bewildered every notion in those magical beings. For them to have no item equal in the aspect of superiority left the wizards befuddled. They were spellbound.

These shiny objects, magnificent and glorious in every sense of the world, were the gateway to an entirely new world.

They presented the chance to use websites. Wonderful and awe inspiring websites.

They scoured the internet, discovering Google, Youtube, Fanfiction, Walla, Wikipedia and so many more...

And of course, there was a website called Facebook. By far the bestwebsite of all.

It was the capital of procrastination, the most divine way of time-wasting and the ultimate method of attention seeking. It was extraordinary.

And so the entire wizarding world found themselves helplessly addicted. With no hope of escape.


	2. If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them

It was really getting to Voldemort now.

It had barely been a week of these disgusting muggle devices, and yet even those he previously believed to be most pure, had now successfully tainted their blood. He now walked amongst only blood traiters, and mudbloods. What a truly horrifying though! Something had to be done.

Now, what could he do?

He sat irritably, wishing for a novel idea that would help him set the situation right once more. All he wanted was to be an appreciated evil, dark lord. Was that really too much to ask?

Every lord needs his followers. The brainless, yet loyal that are all to willing to follow him into the dark and beyond. And now he had been deserted, and all for an inanimate object. How very humiliating.

But now he was ready to get them back. Whatever it took.

Armed with a...computer, he gingerly touched the keys, as if afraid of contracting some perceivable disease.

After his initial reluctance, Voldemort found himself growing accustomed to such a peculiar device. It was, to say in the least, intriguing.

He vigorously began his intrepid adventure into Facebook with a rather self satisfied smirk, and remembered that saying reminiscent of his childhood.

If you can't beat them, join them.


	3. Cyber Humiliation

_Name- Voldemort, but that's Dark Lord to you_

_Age- Not a day past 21_

_Home- Am currently house hunting (contact voldy  if you have a property)_

_Current Location- In a muggle's house, using their stolen laptop_

_Interested In- Torturing, maiming, killing... especially Harry Potter_

_In A Relationship- Bellatrix and I have a wee bit of a thing going on, but I'm not ready to be exclusive yet, so all is not lost ladies!_

_Status- Waiting for irritating minions to answer my friend requests. Hurry up!_

Voldemort stamped his feet, cursing the world all and over, as his impatience got the best of him.

He had created a profile, a name, and partaken in every appropriate social convention that he could find listed in Luna Lovegood's award winning article, 'How To Be Popular On The World- Wide Web'. He believed this name to be rather ill fitting however, as despite his best efforts regarding the directions of the article, he still remained friendless and utterly alone. Unless you counted Nagini.

He glanced at his profile page for what must have been the hundredth time in the last ten minutes, in the vague hope that he would see the addition of a desperately wanted friend. Once again his search remained fruitless.

His excitement levels rose considerably however, as he realised somebody had written on his wall. Somebody had actually written on his wall!

Oh... It was only Nagini. The disappointment was crushing.

However the feeling of indignation soon distracted him from any lingering feeling of disappointment. The cheek of that Nagini, and her horrible comments! It made Voldemort want to weep.

'Ssssssir... You really need to get some friendsssss!'

What a nasty snake! How dare she comment on his friends... or lack of, to him. I bet she doesn't even have that many friends. What a disgusting excuse for a reptile!

Brimming with curiosity, he brought her profile page upon his screen, scrutinizing every detail. Wait, no... That's not possible!

How could Nagini have 122 friends when I have virtually none!

Voldemort double clicked just to check he wasn't seeing things. Sadly, though however, he found this information to be disturbingly true.

Thoroughly dispirited, he reached for his mouse, before firmly clicking on the log off button, and returning to the sanctity of a land free from cyber humiliation.

At least until a few minutes later.


	4. He Really Has Facebook?

_Name- Harry James Potter_

_Age- 17 _

_Home- The Burrow_

_Current Location- Next to the computer, obviously_

_Interested In- Quidditch, DADA and preventing evil dark lords from ridding the world of happiness_

_In A Relationship- I love you Gin_

_Status- Voldy... just don't!_

Harry stared slack-jawed at the computer screen. He blinked, blinked and blinked again, yet it was still there. Seriously...

Letting out an uncontrollable, and rather hysterical, high-pitched giggle, Harry loudly chastised anyone who was in hearing distance to get there quickly, before attempting to vaguely return himself to a composed state.

A mass of ginger appeared as the creaky door opened, with Hermione in his wake.

'What Harry!'

Ron appeared rather unamused, and judging from the state of his chin, or rather the remnants of food splayed across it, he had been in the midst of enjoying his daily fry up. Harry left himself a mental note. Never mess with Ron when he is hungry.

'Yeah Harry...'

Hermione repeated Ron's utterance of discontent, her bushy hair in complete disarray, looking as though she had been dragged through a hedge backwards...twice. She had obviously been in the midst of the daily battle with her hair, which today, seemed to have beaten her.

Harry sensed that she probably would not be appreciative of him pointing out such a fact.

'Look at this...'

Words failing him, Harry gestured wildly towards the screen, mouth gaping and eyes glued.

Ron opened his mouth before slowly closing it in an action of utter disbelief, whilst Hermione appeared to be waging a mental war within her brain, all that she knew battling with the information presented in front of her.

Voldemort has Facebook.

It was both befuddling, yet also damn hilarious, and so the golden trio found themselves lying in a sprawled heap on the floor, with irrepressible fits of laughter racking their bodies.

What ever was going to happen next?


End file.
